Thursday, December 2, 2010

Pre Op appt....

Okay so this morning I woke up @ 5 am just lying in bed thinking of all the questions I wanted to ask the doctor about this surgery!!! So for 3 hours I was lying there thinking about what he would say and then what would be my reply to that... Got there and nothing I played in my head happened!!

So I walk in and my doctor is looking at me like why are you here?!?!? So I tell him why I'm here and he replies that I told you we should try twice before we consider doing the surgery!! (not what I remember!) but of course later when I'm telling Michelle she's like yeah I remember him saying that!!! (then why didn't you tell me?!) So from that moment I wanted to start crying! Because I was wrong and because I was there alone I felt stupid!! So I make up other questions so I don't feel like I wasted my time coming there!!

He tells me that I'm doing everything right and doing the surgery isn't gonna tell us anything concrete (he would need to take 6 women into surgery and the 1 woman that's different would be how he would know if something is wrong!) So in my head I'm thinking but it'll give you something so let's do it!!! But he's saying it like it's not worth cutting into you until we've exhausted all other options... So then I go way left field and ask him to tell me about IVF!! his first answer is it'll cost you 15k to do the procedure but because of your age it's a 33% chance you'll conceive on the 1st cycle! In my head I'm calculating that I'll need like 30k to do this. I don't see this as an obstacle I can't handle, but I'm also seeing the concern look from Michelle when I tell her about it!!! So he tells me this is what he'll like me to do before we even look @ IVF, get my KD to have another sperm analysis to make sure nothing has changed with him in the past 5 months... And also, he wants me to use this injectable medicine (Menopur) along with the Femara, this medicine cost $100 per bottle and I need to use 5-6 bottles per cycle!!!

So how am I feeling right now?? I'm not feeling like I got much answers or results, because I want to know why haven't I gotten pregnant yet??? I know that everything happens when God wants it to... So now I'm sitting @ home wondering what should I do next??? @ first I was thinking that we wouldn't try again this month because of the surgery, but now that that's not happening should we try again this month?? Hindrance, the cost and it being Christmas time, I really think we can handle the extra cost but I think it would cut into our gift giving to our nieces and nephews?? And how fair would that be to them?? Some of them are too young to understand that we made that choice... That's why when we do have a baby I plan to make sure that she/he doesn't look @ Christmas as all about presents!!! I can't wait until Michelle gets home so we can talk....

On another note, I took a HPT this morning because I just wanted to know, And of course it was a BFN!!! But still no cycle, so still doing the waiting game!!! But I know it's stalling to drive me insane?!?

I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

1 comment:

Matirio said...

I can hear Michelle too "Yeah I remember him saying that" and picturing the look on your