New Cycle, New Year...

So today is CD 1 and NYE.... We have talked and talked about it and decided that January will be a month of relaxing and getting in touch with our intimacy side again (TTC can kill your intimacy!!) So in February we will order SBS again and do IUI twice @ the doctor's office.... Oh yeah! We will use the Menupur and Femara.... I'm looking forward to not having to take meds or checking CM for a month!

I hope everyone has a wonderful NYE, we're going to church 1st, then to friends house that's throwing this elaborate party! Last year we spent NYE in the bed trying to wait to see ball fall, but we fell asleep @ 10 pm!!! So, let's see if we can do better this time?!?!?






I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Update On TWW....

Okay so for one whole week we inseminated everyday from Sunday to Friday, did everything that I'm suppose to do and then on Christmas Eve I got that feeling again that my cycle is about to begin?!?!! I have come to the conclusion that me and our KD isn't compatible, because if the doctor keeps telling me that there's nothing wrong with me and my reproductive system what else could it be?!?!

So I never told you about his test results. Everything was 1-2 number below what they would like to see (but the nurse said not to worry...)

But we have decided that we would take a month or 2 off and find a donor from a sperm bank so we can do IUI again... That way I will feel more confident that things are going right....








I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Update....

Okay so I haven't been very talkative on here lately because I didn't want to be disappointed again and have to see the pity looks from friends and family when they see me.... I think that all the concern is wonderful and I truly appreciate it but some of the looks I get are saddening.... But I decided that the looks are not that of disappointment or pity, but it's the looks of concern from truly concern people! So I'm back!!!

On Saturday morning we went in for our monthly monitoring @ 7:30... The technician was so cold and anti social, not sure if it was because Michelle came in with me, She look back when I was waiting for Michelle like who is she?!?!? So she starts looking and she's not saying anything (not like the other techs before) and she didn't let me see the screen! So I asked her what she was seeing and she said 1 follicle and then I had to ask her the size and she told me 25. Then she tells me the nurse will call me... So the nurse calls me @ 10:30 and tells me that I only had 1 mature follicle (25mm) for it being CD 8... So the nurse tells me to use the Ovidrel that night and inseminate Sunday and Monday..... So I called the KD and told him and he thought we should inseminate everyday this week... So we have inseminated everyday this week so far.... I was wondering before should I use the CBEFM or the OPK and I decided that I would and for the last 2 days I have gotten a smiley face on the OPK and the CBEFM had shown the "egg" for Sunday and Monday but today went back to the 2nd notch.... So I don't know what I should think of that... I am not stressing over the outcome because like I said before God will make it happen when it's suppose to....






I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

CBEFM

Okay so today is CD 6, and my CBEFM was signaling for me to take a pee sample... I did and of course it didn't show anything, I think the monitor is still getting to know my body... But I got to thinking do I really need to do the OPK or CBEFM this month since we decided to use the Ovidrel (oh yeah I didn't mention that before, huh?). I figured that since we are not using the Menopur we should use the Ovidrel since it triggers ovulation and it would give us a better window of opportunity (meaning giving us a clearer picture of when the egg is released)... Because if calculations are correct I didn't ovulate til CD 16??? I came up with that because of the day my new cycle started.... And remember I said that your cycle starts 14 days after you ovulate.... But I have been thinking that I have a late luteal cycle...

So I go in for monthly monitoring on Saturday morning... I can't wait to see how the medicine is working for me...









I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Lacking Motivation...

Okay so the last time I was here I was lost on what to do for this month?!?!? Well after talking with Michelle (my voice of reason!) We decided that this month we would use only the Femara, because we need to read about the side effects of the Menopur and also, using the Menopur increases your chances of have 3 or more babies by 33%!!! That's a lot of babies!! So we've decided to keep using our KD but we are also talking about going back to the donor sperm from the cryobank if no BFP this month.... But we went back and forth with that decision because we think it will hurt our KD's feelings??? He's been so supportive and flexible to us...

My lack of motivation comes from thinking I was doing everything right last month and getting a BFN! So I didn't know what to say to you guys?!?! But I decided that you guys are in this as much as we are, so you deserve to know what's going on!! =)))

I have also decided that I will let God control this and I will just go along for the ride!! =)))


I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Pre Op appt....

Okay so this morning I woke up @ 5 am just lying in bed thinking of all the questions I wanted to ask the doctor about this surgery!!! So for 3 hours I was lying there thinking about what he would say and then what would be my reply to that... Got there and nothing I played in my head happened!!

So I walk in and my doctor is looking at me like why are you here?!?!? So I tell him why I'm here and he replies that I told you we should try twice before we consider doing the surgery!! (not what I remember!) but of course later when I'm telling Michelle she's like yeah I remember him saying that!!! (then why didn't you tell me?!) So from that moment I wanted to start crying! Because I was wrong and because I was there alone I felt stupid!! So I make up other questions so I don't feel like I wasted my time coming there!!

He tells me that I'm doing everything right and doing the surgery isn't gonna tell us anything concrete (he would need to take 6 women into surgery and the 1 woman that's different would be how he would know if something is wrong!) So in my head I'm thinking but it'll give you something so let's do it!!! But he's saying it like it's not worth cutting into you until we've exhausted all other options... So then I go way left field and ask him to tell me about IVF!! his first answer is it'll cost you 15k to do the procedure but because of your age it's a 33% chance you'll conceive on the 1st cycle! In my head I'm calculating that I'll need like 30k to do this. I don't see this as an obstacle I can't handle, but I'm also seeing the concern look from Michelle when I tell her about it!!! So he tells me this is what he'll like me to do before we even look @ IVF, get my KD to have another sperm analysis to make sure nothing has changed with him in the past 5 months... And also, he wants me to use this injectable medicine (Menopur) along with the Femara, this medicine cost $100 per bottle and I need to use 5-6 bottles per cycle!!!


So how am I feeling right now?? I'm not feeling like I got much answers or results, because I want to know why haven't I gotten pregnant yet??? I know that everything happens when God wants it to... So now I'm sitting @ home wondering what should I do next??? @ first I was thinking that we wouldn't try again this month because of the surgery, but now that that's not happening should we try again this month?? Hindrance, the cost and it being Christmas time, I really think we can handle the extra cost but I think it would cut into our gift giving to our nieces and nephews?? And how fair would that be to them?? Some of them are too young to understand that we made that choice... That's why when we do have a baby I plan to make sure that she/he doesn't look @ Christmas as all about presents!!! I can't wait until Michelle gets home so we can talk....

On another note, I took a HPT this morning because I just wanted to know, And of course it was a BFN!!! But still no cycle, so still doing the waiting game!!! But I know it's stalling to drive me insane?!?










I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Updating...

Michelle came home early yesterday sick. She's coughing, sneezing and aching all over, I was her "Nurse Hatchett" as she calls me... I went to bed feeling great, just a little cramping but I'm starting to get used to the cramping now...

So this morning woke up with a sore throat and achy body, but also had a little spotting... But I didn't get sad as I usually do because I was reading a "fertility Affirmation" that states "I will rejoice to see my period next month, because it let's me know that my body is functioning correctly."


So, I called my doctor's office to make my appt. to move forward with the surgery to see is it something we could be missing.... I go in Thursday @ 10 am for my pre-op appt. and I guess I will get the schedule date @ that time... I will be going alone for this appt. Michelle can't get off work to go with me....


I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Thanksgiving...

Okay so today has been very busy...  I was up baking desserts @ 7am and as the morning went on I felt my lower back starting to hurt (as it always do before my cycle start), so that put more clouds in my day than already seemed to be outside.... I know that people will say that you can't tell yet, but I know my body and I don't feel like I'm pregnant... I tried not to think about it all day, but now that I'm home and the festivities are over I'm thinking about what could I possibly be doing wrong??? My RE told me that if it didn't work this month that we should do the laparoscopy surgery next month. So I guess I need to prepare myself for the surgery =((((...



Hope everyone had a great time with their love ones and family.... I know I had a great day....


I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Test results...

So yesterday I had to have my Progesterone test done... So because I had to take my grandmother to HFH main campus I decided I would just have my test there oppose to going all the way to Somerset... Well the lady that was taking my blood was pregnant and I don't usually ask women when are they due. But I did, and she told me she was due in Feb. and that this will be her 5th baby!!! (ages 13, 3, 2 and 1)!!! and she didn't even want to be pregnant again!!! It got me to thinking, why is it that I can't be happy for "straight women" when I hear that they're pregnant??? Is it because they don't have to go through all the stuff that we go through?? Or is it because 9 times out of 10 they wasn't even trying to get pregnant!?!?! I don't know why it is but I know I need to work on that....


Anywho, the nurse called me this morning with the test results. My progesterone levels we're 14.1 she said that was good and that my uterus lining was thick. But my only concern now is how good is that because usually every month they say that my levels were great and my uterus lining is thick, but not one time has it produced a BFP!!! So how much weight should I put into that test??? I'll just wait til Dec. 2, when my cycle should start to know what is what??


Okay, I just wanted to update "blog world" with the test results... I have to go bake have over a dozen of cakes and pies to back tonight!!!!



Enjoy your Thanksgiving if I don't talk to you before than....





I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Early morning...

Okay so I woke up @ 6am ready to go get the sperm from KD, but Michelle isn't the morning person sometimes!!! So I'm sitting in the bed hoping she would hurry up. Finally, @ 6:30 she gets up and she's ready to go get it!! We get to KD house @ 6:55 and he's right out @ 7 with cup in hand... We get home like @ 7:20, and I get very anxious about getting it done, Michelle strolls around and don't understand my urgency to do it!! So of course we argue about how I'm all amped up and she's so cool and collected. So finally, after all that unnecessary time we spend talking (I'm going crazy in my head) It's done @ 7:32!!!! So now I'm laying up in bed relaxing.. Today is CD 15 and I'm thinking maybe we should do it again Saturday???


But even if we don't do it again, I go to the doctor's office for BW, (Progesterone test)





I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Day 2

Okay so I didn't blog yesterday, But I inseminated again last night. The day started off as usually, but I was a little worried because I got a negative OPK. So I looked it up on the internet and it said that you will get a positive once and it will come 24-36 hours before you'll ovulate... Then @ 6pm our KD came over, but Michelle couldn't be here because she had to work late, I was comfortable because after we spoke with our friends and they shared with us how I can do it myself if Michelle couldn't be there. So after he left I used the Pre-Seed 15 minutes before I inseminated, then I used the Instead softcup and got in the bed. I stayed in bed for the rest of the night... So Thursday morning we'll do it again instead we'll go to his house to pick up the sperm instead him coming we'll go @ 7am!!!


After we inseminate tomorrow then the 2 week wait begins....








I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Insemination.....

So my KD arrived @ 6:30 exactly and we talked til Michelle gets here and we talk some more before he goes into the guest bathroom, does his business in like 8 minutes!!! I have this feeling that everything is falling into place... So it's now 7:20 and I'm lying in bed waiting for Michelle to get everything together... It's now 7:34 and in goes the syringe, and now we're on the road to pregnancy...

I refused to get back out the bed tonight, I want the sperm to have a smooth ride (no motion sickness) So i'll lie here all night and tomorrow wake up with the same thoughts as today, we're gonna inseminate today and again on Wednesday but maybe in the morning on Wednesday...

I'm about to go to sleep so my sperm can run around in my uterus and wait for my egg to go shooting out my fallopian tubes and make a baby... I always wonder will they be in there fighting and talking to each other like in the movie Look Who's Talking


Til tomorrow have a great night...




I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

OMG!!!

In all the months I've been doing this I have never got a smiley face and today I did!!

Now I'm not sure does that mean I'll ovulate today or in the next 24-36 hrs..

The Big Day!!!

So this morning the line wasn't dark but it was there, where other days it wasn't there @ all..So tonight we're gonna inseminate, I'm drinking so much water right now, because they say the more water you drink the more CM you'll have!! But I'm getting everything ready, specimen cup (check), syringe (check), instead softcups (check), Pre-Seed (check) and sperm (coming)!!! So everything is in order now just patiently waiting til 7 for KD to get here...

Okay, gotta go cook dinner before Michelle gets home from work.... Will update later tonight... Pray for US!!!!





I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Anniversary...

So woke up this morning in a very good mood!! Because it's our anniversary and because today is suppose to be the day we inseminate.... So again I'm rushing to use the bathroom and everything is negative again... So after seeing that I decided I was gonna postpone doing the insemination today but start every other day starting tomorrow, so I sent our KD a text message telling him that he can go straight home tonight from his trip and come over tomorrow evening for sure... Michelle checked my CM today and I didn't have a lot but it is getting clearer and that's a great sign!!! Everything is falling into place with my body I believe, just gotta wait for the right timing....


Went to church this morning and we decided that we would go to breakfast/brunch instead of going to dinner tonight for our anniversary. Today just didn't seem like "a special day" for me, even though Michelle gave me a beautiful card and some perfume today seems like another day for us because we're still doing the same stuff we did yesterday?!? So what do you do different on your anniversary oppose to the day before or the day after???



I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

No Shot

okay so we talked with our friends and then talk about it some more and we decided not to use the Ovidrel trigger shot... So we're just gonna do our inseminations starting tomorrow and doing every other night this coming week... And we got another tip don't use the spectulum and try using an Instead 12 Hour Feminine Protection Cup 24 ea, so we're gonna try that... But now it's off to sleep to get ready for church..




I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Testing...

So woke up @ 7:30 with the dying urge to use the bathroom, but of course I have to open 2 pee sticks before I can release!! So, I finally get them both open as I'm hopping around by the toilet. So I relax and saturate both stick so now I have to watch blinking symbols for 3-5 minutes as they read my pee... So today I decide I would just sit on the toilet and wait because when I get up I always forget to look right away, and I'm thinking that's why I can't get positive results!! (but of course that's not the truth) I'm sitting there for what seems like forever! And then the big fat "O", when you what to see a big fat smiley face!! So of course I go to thinking "What's wrong with me?" And the other one didn't change from yesterday, but that's expected....

So we're having lunch with some of our friends from church who's been where we are now and they succeed!! Hoping to get some good information and advise from them... Didn't tell you that last night they gave us enough OPK and pregnancy tests to have an army! And some great books!! I tell you that "our community/family" is the best!!! So meeting in Royal Oak for lunch can't wait!!!




I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Monitoring update!

Okay nurse called and my estrogen level is 136 (not sure what's the norm) but with the size follicles I have she wants me to do my trigger shot (Ovidrel) tomorrow night and inseminate Sunday and Monday! I'm just so glad that it's Sunday because my KD is out of town til Sunday evening! And the funny thing is we were emailing this week and I told him that I think we should start inseminating Sunday so we had already planned for Sunday. So, he'll be here straight from this trip and then we'll do it again Monday evening and because I'm such an anal person with this we'll probably do it again Tuesday morning before Michelle goes to work =)))... My KD said that he'll do it everyday if that what we want (he is God sent!)....

So that's it til tomorrow when I take the shot, only thing about that is that after that shot I'm usually so moody! But I'm going pray and believe that I'm not going drive Michelle crazy!!!

Pray for her and me!! =)))








I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Monitoring...

Okay so woke up @ 6am with 2 sticks on my mind!! But I guess I didn't saturate the OPK stick enough because it gave me the the image of "go read the instructions!" so luckily I can redo that one again this evening....

Arrived @ 7:06 (because of fog) and had to give blood first. I told the lady that she usually takes it from the side, but of course she goes right in the middle and nothing comes out!!! So she looks @ me and I look @ her like "I told you!" so now I have to get poked again because she's hardheaded!!! Then off to lay on my back with my legs up (sounds good, huh?) not! I hate them stir ups.. Well she gets started and I guess we've been doing it so long Michelle's no longer gets excited I looked over @ her and she's doing her hair?!?! But on my right side I have a 20mm and then on my left side I have a 21mm an a 19mm...that's good to only be on CD 9... because usually the monitoring is done on CD 11-12 and they like you to be over 20mm?!?! So the Femara is working well. Now I just have to wait for the nurse to call me this afternoon and tell me when I can inseminate..... So you must wait with me till later... I'll update this evening..







I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Excited...

Even though I have been going to have monitoring (sonogram) for like 6 months now, I'm excited about going tomorrow because of several reasons. First, I'm on new meds so I can't wait to see how it's working. Secondly, I can't wait for the nurse to call me and tell me what day to inseminate. I know this month will be so much better because I know so much more about my CM and I have so many more tools to use this month.

Today I brought an OPK so that I can start using it tomorrow CD 9.... I have tried using them in the past but because of the Clomiphene it would never give me a positive sign, maybe now since I'm on the Femara it will work for me?!?! So now when I get up rushing to the bathroom (because I hold it til the last minute!) I will have to pee on 2 sticks! That's a lot but it's worth it!!

Okay up early tomorrow to be @ the doctor's office @ 7am.....

Getting ready to bake carrot cupcakes with homemade cream cheese icing... having guests over tonight to watch my favorite shows (Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice)...



I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Working good...

Okay so I've been taking "evening primrose oil" every night with my prenatal and Femara, and I can tell you that even though right now I should be more dry, I'm not!! I just can't wait until it should be clear, because that has been the problem the previous months having hostile cervix mucus....

Okay so I went to my 1st Jazz club tonight and even though I protested all these years not to like Jazz I really enjoyed the music, but I still prefer music with lots of lyrics!!



I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Girls Day...

So today I was hanging out with my niece.. We woke up @ 8 am and watched the Sprout channel, too much singing if you ask me... So then we decided to go have breakfast, pancakes was the consensus hers with chocolate chips. Then to the bookstore to read books and do some of her homework.. Finally to end the day we went to the movies... While we we're @ the bookstore she asked me why I want to have a baby??? My answer was because I really want a daughter and also because I want another chance @ having that feeling of giving unconditional love and receiving it. Even though I didn't think she really understood my answer, she came back and said "you have me so you can stop trying now!" and she's only 5!!

Also, so remember last month I brought the CBEFM, been wanting to use it since I got it but the rules say you have to wait until the monitor tells you to use it, well this morning it said use me!!! And I was so happy to pee on the stick!! you would've thought it said I won the lottery!!! Still haven't figured it out but I can't wait to do it again tomorrow....


Okay so let's see what my next 2 days of meds do for me....








I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Emailing...

Okay so today is CD 5 and I called to schedule my monthly monitoring appt and I sent my monthly email to our KD... It's so strange to be telling a guy about when my period started and when I should ovulate! But I do it every month.... So far I haven't had any side effects from the new meds (Femara), Michelle is probably happy about that.... I'm so excited about this months insemination, I've learned so much in the past month that I really believe this month will be better than any other month and I'm very positive and no stress....

Tonight I'm having a sleepover with my 5 yr. old niece!! I'm so excited and glad to be able to spend all day tomorrow doing girlie things with her... Still thinking about what should we do?? What do 5 yr. old girls like to do, besides play in my make up?!?!






I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

New meds...

So this has been a very busy Saturday!! Got up this morning @ 5am to finish a baking project I started last night and had to deliver before 9... Then went to get 4 new tires!!! YAAAY! so needed them... Had lunch @ P.F. Chang's w/Michelle and her Mother, went and got new wireless headphones from the Apple Store!! Then went to the movies with several friends to see For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf the movie and dinner @ T.G.I Fridays'... now finally home....


With all the things I was doing today I kept thinking about the bottle of pills that are sitting on my bed waiting for me to come home and take them. Today is CD 3 and that means I start taking my Femara. I think I was thinking about it so much for 2 reasons, 1 is that it's a new medicine so now I have to get used to new side effects if any (just got used to the Clomiphene side effects) and 2 that sitting on my bed is 10 little pills that is gonna help us make a baby! I still get excited thinking about the fact that I'm gonna have a baby!! So as soon as we walk in the door we get the pill bottle and say our prayer that we say every month before we start the meds, and I take this little brown pill an as it's going down my throat I'm thinking this pill is gonna work this month!! So for the next 4 days I will take these pills and prepare to inseminate this month...

Oh yeah!! after reading Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility I got several ideas about what I should be doing, one thing was take "Evening Primrose Oil" everyday once your cycle starts and it will help you produce fertile CM, so of course I've been taking this pill every night.... The more things that'll help I'll try...








I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

I'm confused....

So Tuesday I woke up spotting (bright red) yesterday I was spotting dark brown, now today I'm having a constant flow... So now I'm confused because which day do I count as CD 1??? every since I had acupuncture my cycle has been weird, from the brown spotting to cramping!! I haven't had cramps with my cycle since I was 19!!!

So now I need to look this up because I should be starting my medicine (Femara) on CD 3...




I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Spotting....

Okay so this morning I woke up with this funny feeling in my stomach, I figured it was due to the fact that I was up too early about to go vote! Then I came home and I'm spotting?? It's weird because I'm only on CD 23, last month I had a 31 day cycle??? It's only concerning because since I've been TTC I've always had 28 day cycles, so now I'm wondering what's causing the variation?? And I know me, I will be looking online and in my pregnancy books (all 22 of them!!) looking for some medical defect that I might have to answer this mystery... But, in my head right now I hear Michelle telling me to calm down and talk to God!! So Dear that's what I'm gonna do throughout this day talk to God and let him worry (not I)....






I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

October 2010 (Monitoring)

Okay so finally I'm catching up!!! This month has been very uneventful, no plans for insemination. I've been reading this book and learning new things... In the book it talks about the different fertility types, My type is actually 2 (stuck and tired) and from reading, it means my blood is stagnate and my qi (Ch'i) is stagnate too... So I decided to go have acupuncture (if you haven't notice yet I will try anything once!) and it was great!! Found this place in Bloomfield Hills and it's owned by this lady and there are 4 other women that works there too. My acupuncturist name was Monica (specializes in fertility issues) and from just taking my pulse and looking @ my tongue she was able to diagnose that my blood is stagnate and I have blockage in my liver area!! Amazing that she said the same things that the book said....

Okay so this weekend (October 16) I found a fertility monitor on craiglist, and we went to pick it up (nice Sweetest Day gift, huh?) So starting next month I will start using it and hopefully it will help me more..


October 18, I went in to see my RE because I was getting frustrated and I had lots of questions after reading the book. So after all my concerns he decided that we should change my meds to Letrozole tablets (2.5 mg). We also discussed having laparoscopic surgery (look below for details). He wants me to try the new meds and inseminate 1 more time before jumping to surgery, I would rather just jump in!! But I'll try the meds 1st.. I also found out today that my doctor was voted "the best RE in Michigan" (In this months "The Hour Magazine") So that was very reassuring..


Well, this morning (October 21) @ 7 am I had to be @ the doctor's office for my monthly monitoring, Michelle really doesn't like getting up this early!! This month is a little different because I knew we wasn't inseminating this month because our donor is out of town so I didn't take any Clomiphene (ovary simulator). So my follicles weren't mature, I had only one "getting" mature follicle (11 mm, CD 11) so I did learn that my follicles don't develop well without the medicine... Also, the xray tech said that it looks like I already ovulated because she saw a collapsed follicle in my left ovary. But she would have extra blood work done to check...

Nurse called this afternoon, and from the blood work and sonogram it looks like I'm either in the process of ovulating or I ovulated yesterday... lucky for me we're not inseminating this month... But I still will check my cervix mucus tonight...



Laparoscopy is direct visualization of the peritoneal cavity, ovaries, outside of the tubes and uterus by using a laparoscopy. The laparoscopy is an instrument somewhat like a miniature telescope with a fiber optic system which brings light into the abdomen. It is about a big around as fountain pen and twice is long.


So the plan for next cycle is to start the new meds on CD 3-7, start the fertility monitoring and inseminate as many times as I can!!! I also learned about Pre-Seed So as we speak I'm click "place order" on Amazon.com... Thanks B and J =))))....



I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

September 2010

Okay so now we're into September and still not pregnant, but very hopefully now because I have found this book that is excellent!! From reading this book I've learned so much... Like every month we have been doing everything right, but never heard of "hostile cervix mucus" but that's when your cervix mucus doesn't get clear and like egg whites. So for the past 2 times we were inseminating Michelle kept saying your mucus is cloudy what does that mean?? I don't know, I told her... Having "hostile cervix mucus" mean that your cervix mucus is thick, cloudy and doesn't get clear and that it kills the sperm before it makes it to your uterus. Some kinda birth control huh?? But from reading this book I've learned that Clomiphene can cause "hostile cervix mucus", so using Mucinex can help thin your cervix mucus (like it thins your nasal mucus =)), or using Robitussin.

So now it's September and it's time to inseminate and our donor is so great that he said he would come over everyday if need be but we decide on every other day. So, from day 10-15 we inseminated 4 times!!! All was in vain because @ the time I should have been fertile my CM was cloudy, it's like I need the Clomiphene to ovulate but after taking it for so long that's one of the side effects....





I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

August 2010

Okay so in August we had a lot going on but nothing exciting happened, couldn't inseminate in August for 2 reasons, I had a training in Chicago, IL and on the day I would need to inseminate Michelle had to go to the hospital (all is well with her). So we didn't get pregnant that month but we still had our monitoring appt and my follicles were great! I had 3 mature follicles (20 mm, 18 mm, 16x2 mm) and if you remember previously I told you that any follicle over 15 is mature but over 20 is great! Well for this month I had to go in early for monitoring because I would be in Chicago on day 11 or 12, so we did monitoring on day 9. So for me to have good size follicles on day 9 shows that my body is responding excellent to the medicine (Clomiphene, ovary simulator). And on day 22 I went to have blood work to show that I did ovulate for August.


So again no pregnancy for August, but not upset because things happen and we can try again next month...


"I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Update.... July 2010

Okay so I haven't been on here in a while an a lot of things have happened in the months that I was off. I didn't stop trying to get pregnant just was so busy with life that I didn't have time to update you guys. Well, I have so much to tell you, but this time around it may be a little different because I want to give you more information about the ups and downs of trying to get pregnant through insemination. All summer my friends have been coming to me asking me questions about my process and I've learned that it's a lot of information out there that us as women don't know. So all this week I've been thinking how to incorporate information into this blog along with my experiences, I'm still trying to figure that out. But, while I figure that out I decided that I would update you guys about what I've experienced all summer.


Okay so let's start with July 2010, remember how I was saying it would be so good if we had a known donor that would give us sperm? Well, we got him!!! We have this wonderful friend that has decided that it would be a wonderful gift to give us by being our donor. That not only helps us financially but also it gives us some peace of mind because using a sperm bank doesn't really allow you to know your donors personality (nor his mental state?!). So, now we have a "known sperm donor" and that brings a lot of other things to the table. We had to draw up a contract spelling out all the things that both parties wanted. Like, we wanted a donor that wouldn't want any parental involvement and he wanted to make sure he wouldn't have any financial involvement =)). I went on this website www.rocketlawyer.com looking for ideas on how to format such an agreement and to my surprise they had an agreement! All that we had to do was insert our names and information and then we went and had it notarized. Then he went to our doctor's office to "donate" sperm so we could have a sperm analysis and everything was great!

So, after we did all that paperwork it was too late to try for July but we wanted to practice, so he came over did his business and Michelle tried =)))... So I went to the doctors 7 days later to make sure that I ovulated for the month and I had.....


So no pregnancy for July so now we wait to try again in August....












I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Insemination Day....

Okay so we inseminated Monday... I was very positive before we went there and even after the insemination.. I didn't feel like we had missed my ovulation window like before. But the next morning when I woke up I had "egg white cervix mucus" so then I was depressed all day, and it's hard to be depressed about this around Michelle because she begins to worry that it's too much for me.... So I have to always be positive and hopeful.... But I have decided that I will not worry about anything until after I take a pregnancy test in 2 weeks.... So I go in on Sunday to have a progestrone test again and then just wait.... Even though I'm not sure, we decided that I would still take my prenatal medicine because as I said before the first 2 weeks are the most important for your baby to receive folic acid.....

So now we wait for 2 weeks to take a pregnancy test... I will keep you updated...

Live.Laugh.Love

April M. Mason

Sent from my iPad

Okay so last week either I was gonna have a positive pregnancy test or my period would start, and my period started...

I waited a week to write because I was so disappointed and angry that my period started.... I thought about it and I'm not angry anymore but more so concerned that something isn't working right.. I had so many thoughts and worries about it not happening, even though I was expressing that I didn't think it took but when it didn't take I was so devastated... I think I was more concerned that Michelle would get disappointed with me that it didn't happen, then I was with why it didn't happen, but she said she's wasn't disappointed...
Even though I don't understand why it didn't work this time I have to keep trying and believing that it'll work....

So, starting this week we start all over with the medicine, ultrasound and doctor appointments...

Live.Laugh.Love

April M. Mason

Sent from my iPad

Test results

Testing.....


Well Monday I had blood work to check my progestrone level, if your level is above 10 that means that you ovulated for the month. Got my test results back yesterday and my level was 38!! That's good, and she was excited but i'm gonna wait til after I miss my period and than I'll test.... But I'm still not having any symptoms or anything it feels the same to me....


Will update you again next week after I start my period or test.....





I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Insemination Day!!

Well today we were inseminated @ the doctor's office... While waiting 2 hours for the specimen to be prepped and getting set up, so many things were going through my mind. I begun thinking that it's really about to happen and praying to God asking that he would allow me to calm down and relax. So finally they called us back and I was told to undress from the waist down and lay on the table. Once she begun it caused a little discomfort when she inseminated, we did IUI (intrauterine) but she was so nice and sweet (Donna was our nurse)... @ 12:14 she inseminated me! So now I have to have a progestrone blood test on Monday to check my progrestrone and my uterus lining thickness (not sure how that 1 test will tell both).. Then 8 days after that I can go have a blood test for pregnancy...

This time around I'm more relaxed and not worrying about is it gonna be okay... Had all the test and know everything is working right and so now it's in God's hands!!! I'm gonna just faithfully take my prenatal pills and eat healthy just as if I was pregnant! Because the 1st 2 weeks of pregnancy is the most important time that your baby needs folic acid and the other vitamins for healthy brain development (the time before you usually know you're pregnant). And because our pregnancy is planned with care and love we have an advantage to creating a healthy baby....

So now we wait 2 weeks without worry... Will update you soon...  

Live.Laugh.Love

April M. Mason

Sent from my iPhone

Follow up appt....

Okay so all month I've been having test and tracking my bbt and CM, having blood test and HSG x-ray... Had a progestrone test on Monday that test would tell if I ovulated this month, well went in for a follow up appt today and doctor confirmed what I had a deep down feeling that I didn't ovulate this month. Hearing her say it made me very emotional and couldn't hold back the tears, but of course Michelle was wonderful and supportive. But she was very reassuring that everything was gonna be okay and we can fix that. Her treatment plan for me was to put me on progestrone to help my period come, then to double my prescription of Clomid before it was 50 mg, but now it's 100 mg and then after my period starts go in for a vaginal ultrasound on day 12 of my cycle to see how mature my follicles (eggs)are to deicide when to inseminate. When she decides to inseminate I will get a shot of Overidel(helps to ovulate in the next 24-36 hours). So I'm guessing we will inseminate around June 3-4, 2010. Also, by taking the Clomid, Overidel and being over 35, it increases my chances of having a multiples! That's so encouraging to me...

Something else that's new is one of Michelle's closest friend used a local sperm bank and we have decided to not only use the same sperm bank but the same sperm?! Next time we talk I'll talk more about how this will work, need to talk more with Michelle about this..





I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

HSG test

On Friday I went in for my HSG x-ray.. I was expecting it to be easy and simple but it was far from that! I was told to take some pain pills about an hour before hand and I did, but it didn't help! The purpose of the test was to see if my fallopian tubes had any blockage and to see the shape of my uterus. Everything was great!! As my dr. said if it was a quiz I would have received an A!! So I'm so glad and relieved that every test that I've had thus far has been great and I don't see why in June when we inseminate it shouldn't take. We've decided (more so Michelle) that we're gonna let Dr. Hayter inseminate @ the clinic...

This past weekend I met some of Michelle's friends and was given some good information, about a digital OPK and about a liquid prenatal drink, will look into both this week and tell you more about it later...

Just wanted to update you on my test on friday...











I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Doctor's appointment......

Yesterday went to see a reproductive specialist name Katherine Hayter, WHNP @ Henry Ford Somerset and she was the greatest! I went in with a long list of questions and concerns and she had an answer for everything, and a long list of test for me to have my next period cycle.

If you're over 35 years old and you're thinking about having a baby these are some of the test you might want to have done before you go through the process and become stressed or frustrated that it's not happening fast enough...

First, you should have a Hystersalpingogram (HSG), this is an X-Ray test designed to evaluate the inside shape of the uterus and determine whether or not the Fallopian tubes are open. This study should be done after menstrual bleeding has stopped, but before you ovulate. In general, this may be done between days 6 and 11 of the menstrual cycle.

Next, you should have blood work to test for, Estradiol (E2), FSH and LH, this should be done on cycle day: 2, 3 or 4.. Also, you should have a Progestrone test, and this should be done on 7, 8 or 9 after you get a positive sign on your OPK. This test will tell if you're ovulating correctly because the progestrone level should be high until the start of your next cycle..

She also told me about the different fertility meds I could take besides taking the Clomid I could take Femur..... Femur isn't approved by the FDA for fertility but approved for breast cancer patients but studies have shown that it works for fertility. Clomid is approved by the FDA for fertility but it's not recommended used for more than 6 cycles because it can cause other complications.

For my next cycle I have to watch my CM, do a BBT chart and use an OPK....

So I have a long list of test to do and a list of things to do @ home!!

*sidenote, the instructions for my BBT thermometer told me to either put it under my arm or insert it anally, I chose the armpit and my temperature never read right so I stopped doing that, but I learned yesterday that I should only put it under my tongue or I'll never get the correct reading.... Lesson learned!!!

April M. Mason

Sent from my iPad

Doctor appt....

Well today I'm going to see a reproductive specialist.. Only because I want to make sure that I'm doing everything that I should be doing correctly and because I'm older and need to check the plumbing. I have a long list of questions and concerns printed out for her and she might want to scream from my list I'm gonna hand her!!

Appointment is @ 6 pm, I'm a little anxious and not sure if Michelle is anxious she hasn't really shared her thoughts about the appt... So I'll update you after the meeting this evening....

Live.Laugh.Love

April M. Mason

Sent from my iPad

Starting over....

Well my period started yesterday, even though I tested early and it
was negative I still had a glimmer of hope that I was pregnant. By
seeing my period it just confirmed that I wasn't. I'm okay with the
fact that I'm not pregnant, because I cried so much over the past two
weeks I think I was prepared for this outcome.

After thinking about what's next, we decided that we would try again
in May and watch a little closer to my period cycles. Because I
learned that your ovulation date is 14 days before your next period
and my last cycle was 26 days and this one was 29 days so I want to
see if there's a pattern to that. Your period can range from 23-30
days each month and it still be considered regular, anything over 35
days and less than 23 isn't regular and you may need to see a doctor
to make sure you're ovulating each month.

Sent from my iPhone

Tested today....

Well this morning I tested!! Even though I know it's early still I
wanted to know and the test was NEGATIVE...

I openly cried in front of Michelle! I can't begin to describe how I'm
feeling right now, I'm so hurt and disappointed in myself because I
also plan things and succeed in them the first time so not succeeding
the first time isn't a good feeling!!! I read all the books, did
everything the book told me I should be doing and it didn't work?!?!

I'm glad I have positive people in my life... My sister has been so
positive and saying just the right thing to turn my doubts away
briefly... During my crying and hurt I never asked Michelle how she's
feeling??? I think people forget about the other person during this
time. People will send condolences and well wishing to the pregnant -to-be
person but not to the partner, why is that???

So now I must decide do I do this again or drop it??? But would I be
being fair to Michelle if I decide to drop it without talking with
her??? She wants to go see a specializes about it, I don't want that,
because than again I will feel like a failure...

We did decide that we would wait until May before we try again...

Live.Laugh.Love

Sent from my iPhone

March 12,2010...... Now we wait......

Well last night we inseminated... It was such an experience?! The
sperm came in such a small container... And Michelle was so nervous
that it was frustrating both of us?!?! It's funny that during the
whole process it was like I was hovering above my body watching myself
becoming pregnant!!

Sperm definitely doesn't look like I thought it would... It took less
than 15 minutes to thaw it out and like another 15 minutes to
inseminate... The months of preparing it takes is done in like 30
minutes?! It's crazy... But I'm so excited about the possibility of
being pregnant...

After the insemination they recommend that you have an orgasm to help
your cervix "suck up" the sperm... So we debated on how do you do that
knowing that sperm was inside me??? And because the whole process was
so medical, it was like I wasn't a part of the it because all I could
concentrate on was getting pregnant....

So now we will have to wait 2 weeks, because the books say we can test
beginning 3/22, that's 5 days before my next period is schedule to
start....

SO NOW WE WAIT!!!

Live.Laugh.Love

Sent from my iPhone

Multimedia message

This package is about to change OUR lifes!!! 

It Has Arrived!!!

Okay, so the sperm arrived yesterday while I was @ work and my neighbor signed for it, not knowing he was carrying sperm!! =)))) Wonder how he would feel if he knew he was handling another man's sperm?!? Anywho, I was so excited to see the box before I went to school, because I can't open it until I'm ready to use it. But I still wanted to see it, and so I waited for Michelle to get home so we could look @ it.. I was trying to take a picture and asked Michelle to move over so I could get the picture of the box alone, (heard about that later)... So then I left for school and posted on my facebook page that "this box was about to change MY life" and before bed Michelle gets to telling me that she's concern because this is gonna be MY baby and she doesn't feel that she'll have rights and that I put "MY" on my facebook page. I didn't know how to reassure her that this is our baby and that she'll have rights???


So, the question is "how do I guarantee that she'll have rights" with us living in MI where they're so determined on not giving same sex partners equal rights?? It made me question if I really wanted to have this baby with another person if it's gonna causes problems??? So, do I reassure her daily by making sure I always use the pronoun "ours or we"?? can those six letters really be that profound???


I think I will contact these female attorneys that I met that says they can help with securing my partners rights....


Okay, back to the sperm!!! So, it's sitting @ the bottom of my bed in the box... I'm still checking my cervix mucus and using the OPK, I used the OPK last month and nothing but this month it's looking like it's gonna work and that's just making me more excited that I actually might become a mother again soon!!

While writing this I'm thinking about an episode of ER when the chief of staff's partner dies and her family takes the baby from her... Will my family do that to Michelle as a way of holding on to me??? I think I finally just felt her concern an worries?! It's fascinating how television can bring real life situations into prospective.... 'I'm feeling your pain, Michelle?"





I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Testing...

Testing my emails to see if it's working???

Live.Laugh.Love

April M. Mason

Sent from my iPhone

Testing... Trying to see if my mobile blogging is working...

It's really happening???

We just ordered our sperm!!! The woman taking the order was rude and almost made me forget how special this moment was for me... But of course, Michelle remained calm and calmed me down =)))...

So now we will inseminate next week... The countdown is so exciting but I'm trying to stay cool, calm and collected...

So we decided on the first donor we looked @ 2 months ago!! and I'm comfortable with the choice not sure if Michelle is as comfortable or if she's just trying to make me happy??? That'll always be in the back of my mind....

It cost $630.00 for one vial of speciman!! can you imagine how expensive this can cost??? It's so funny that when you want something you have to pay so much for it, but when you don't really want it or isn't ready for it, it comes free?!? (i.e unplanned pregnancies!!)Can you imagine how many fewer babies it would be if everybody had to pay to get pregnant??? Hmmm? Government should look into that (just kidding!)


Okay just needed to express this... Will update more often after we inseminate....




I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Setback...

I have experienced setback. I had to have blood work done for one of the sperm bank that we chose to use. one of the test was a CMV test (look up for more info). I tested positive. Even though 80% of adults will test positive in their lifetime, mine is active and the numbers are high. The symptoms are flu like symptoms. (I'm experiencing this now!) I will be re tested in 3 weeks. But in the meantime I shouldn't get pregnant because I increase the chances of birth defects. I was @ work when I got the news and I felt defeated and called Michelle and of course she rushed to my job to comfort me.. even though I know I could do this pregnant thing by myself I'm so glad that I have her!!

We have narrowed the donors down to 2... We will look @ one more sperm bank before we make our chose. but I will continue with everything else I've been doing with preparing for pregnancy..










I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

decision...

A decision has been made today... We're going to use a sperm bank! We're going to use to different sperm banks because we want to have options when deciding the donor... Today I faxed over the paperwork to The California Cryobank that's need to set up an account with them.. So this weekend we'll start looking through their donor list and pick 2 to get more information about...

I'm getting excited!!

Also, yesterday I started using an OPK, did one last night and it was negative... Even though we were just testing it I was still disappointed that it came back negative...

Okay, needed to share that excitement with you. Will be back later to update you some more....

insemination signs...

Okay so I just finish reading the chapter about insemination signs... It was very interesting and I'm going to give you just a little info....

I know that I'm jumped around but that's how i'm reading the book.. next I will read about ovulation signs and post them... But because I know my signs I wanted to know when is best to inseminate...

Insemination signs:
Ideal day to inseminate
-BBT (Basal Body Temperature) hasn't risen yet or just starting to drop..
-An open cervix
-Your OPK (Ovulation Prediction Kit) is "high" for a few days or "peak"
-Your sex drive has increased..

Too Late:
When you feel that cramping or localized twinge you have already ovulated..
-Circle in your underwear...

2 important points to remember

*inseminate @ your signs of peak fertility..
*Don't delay while holding out for temperature or a positive OPK... While the rest of your fertility signals are screaming peak!!!

New Year Goals....

Hello,

I have been going through some things since the last time I was here.... It's getting harder to find a known sperm donor!! What's so damn weird about this is that men waste sperm/semen daily, weekly masturbating and when you ask them to do it in a cup they get all holy and shit!!! WTHeck?! But I still plan to find a known donor, but I'm gathering info about a sperm bank because I plan to be pregnant before the spring.... I haven't been reading my book but I plan to get back to it this upcoming week... I also, start school again!! Another degree, but for something I really love to do...

So in the meanwhile I will continue to look for a know donor and continue to monitor my BBT (basal body temperature). If you have an iPhone it's an app called "Bio Clock" that is wonderful it tells you everything you need to know to know when you're the most fertile and best conception dates... Even though I use it I still try and look for the signs my body gives me each month... It's amazing @ all the signs your body give off to let you know that you're ovulating!! And until you're caring about becoming pregnant you never knew those were the signs...







I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Happy New Year!!

Good morning,

I know it's been a while since I wrote on here, not because I changed my mind about my journey but because of the holidays...

But I promise to be more diligent when it comes to writing on here and will update you this evening about the past 3 weeks... enjoy!!!