New Cycle, New Year...

So today is CD 1 and NYE.... We have talked and talked about it and decided that January will be a month of relaxing and getting in touch with our intimacy side again (TTC can kill your intimacy!!) So in February we will order SBS again and do IUI twice @ the doctor's office.... Oh yeah! We will use the Menupur and Femara.... I'm looking forward to not having to take meds or checking CM for a month!

I hope everyone has a wonderful NYE, we're going to church 1st, then to friends house that's throwing this elaborate party! Last year we spent NYE in the bed trying to wait to see ball fall, but we fell asleep @ 10 pm!!! So, let's see if we can do better this time?!?!?






I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Lacking Motivation...

Okay so the last time I was here I was lost on what to do for this month?!?!? Well after talking with Michelle (my voice of reason!) We decided that this month we would use only the Femara, because we need to read about the side effects of the Menopur and also, using the Menopur increases your chances of have 3 or more babies by 33%!!! That's a lot of babies!! So we've decided to keep using our KD but we are also talking about going back to the donor sperm from the cryobank if no BFP this month.... But we went back and forth with that decision because we think it will hurt our KD's feelings??? He's been so supportive and flexible to us...

My lack of motivation comes from thinking I was doing everything right last month and getting a BFN! So I didn't know what to say to you guys?!?! But I decided that you guys are in this as much as we are, so you deserve to know what's going on!! =)))

I have also decided that I will let God control this and I will just go along for the ride!! =)))


I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Pre Op appt....

Okay so this morning I woke up @ 5 am just lying in bed thinking of all the questions I wanted to ask the doctor about this surgery!!! So for 3 hours I was lying there thinking about what he would say and then what would be my reply to that... Got there and nothing I played in my head happened!!

So I walk in and my doctor is looking at me like why are you here?!?!? So I tell him why I'm here and he replies that I told you we should try twice before we consider doing the surgery!! (not what I remember!) but of course later when I'm telling Michelle she's like yeah I remember him saying that!!! (then why didn't you tell me?!) So from that moment I wanted to start crying! Because I was wrong and because I was there alone I felt stupid!! So I make up other questions so I don't feel like I wasted my time coming there!!

He tells me that I'm doing everything right and doing the surgery isn't gonna tell us anything concrete (he would need to take 6 women into surgery and the 1 woman that's different would be how he would know if something is wrong!) So in my head I'm thinking but it'll give you something so let's do it!!! But he's saying it like it's not worth cutting into you until we've exhausted all other options... So then I go way left field and ask him to tell me about IVF!! his first answer is it'll cost you 15k to do the procedure but because of your age it's a 33% chance you'll conceive on the 1st cycle! In my head I'm calculating that I'll need like 30k to do this. I don't see this as an obstacle I can't handle, but I'm also seeing the concern look from Michelle when I tell her about it!!! So he tells me this is what he'll like me to do before we even look @ IVF, get my KD to have another sperm analysis to make sure nothing has changed with him in the past 5 months... And also, he wants me to use this injectable medicine (Menopur) along with the Femara, this medicine cost $100 per bottle and I need to use 5-6 bottles per cycle!!!


So how am I feeling right now?? I'm not feeling like I got much answers or results, because I want to know why haven't I gotten pregnant yet??? I know that everything happens when God wants it to... So now I'm sitting @ home wondering what should I do next??? @ first I was thinking that we wouldn't try again this month because of the surgery, but now that that's not happening should we try again this month?? Hindrance, the cost and it being Christmas time, I really think we can handle the extra cost but I think it would cut into our gift giving to our nieces and nephews?? And how fair would that be to them?? Some of them are too young to understand that we made that choice... That's why when we do have a baby I plan to make sure that she/he doesn't look @ Christmas as all about presents!!! I can't wait until Michelle gets home so we can talk....

On another note, I took a HPT this morning because I just wanted to know, And of course it was a BFN!!! But still no cycle, so still doing the waiting game!!! But I know it's stalling to drive me insane?!?










I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Monitoring...

Okay so woke up @ 6am with 2 sticks on my mind!! But I guess I didn't saturate the OPK stick enough because it gave me the the image of "go read the instructions!" so luckily I can redo that one again this evening....

Arrived @ 7:06 (because of fog) and had to give blood first. I told the lady that she usually takes it from the side, but of course she goes right in the middle and nothing comes out!!! So she looks @ me and I look @ her like "I told you!" so now I have to get poked again because she's hardheaded!!! Then off to lay on my back with my legs up (sounds good, huh?) not! I hate them stir ups.. Well she gets started and I guess we've been doing it so long Michelle's no longer gets excited I looked over @ her and she's doing her hair?!?! But on my right side I have a 20mm and then on my left side I have a 21mm an a 19mm...that's good to only be on CD 9... because usually the monitoring is done on CD 11-12 and they like you to be over 20mm?!?! So the Femara is working well. Now I just have to wait for the nurse to call me this afternoon and tell me when I can inseminate..... So you must wait with me till later... I'll update this evening..







I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Excited...

Even though I have been going to have monitoring (sonogram) for like 6 months now, I'm excited about going tomorrow because of several reasons. First, I'm on new meds so I can't wait to see how it's working. Secondly, I can't wait for the nurse to call me and tell me what day to inseminate. I know this month will be so much better because I know so much more about my CM and I have so many more tools to use this month.

Today I brought an OPK so that I can start using it tomorrow CD 9.... I have tried using them in the past but because of the Clomiphene it would never give me a positive sign, maybe now since I'm on the Femara it will work for me?!?! So now when I get up rushing to the bathroom (because I hold it til the last minute!) I will have to pee on 2 sticks! That's a lot but it's worth it!!

Okay up early tomorrow to be @ the doctor's office @ 7am.....

Getting ready to bake carrot cupcakes with homemade cream cheese icing... having guests over tonight to watch my favorite shows (Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice)...



I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Working good...

Okay so I've been taking "evening primrose oil" every night with my prenatal and Femara, and I can tell you that even though right now I should be more dry, I'm not!! I just can't wait until it should be clear, because that has been the problem the previous months having hostile cervix mucus....

Okay so I went to my 1st Jazz club tonight and even though I protested all these years not to like Jazz I really enjoyed the music, but I still prefer music with lots of lyrics!!



I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Girls Day...

So today I was hanging out with my niece.. We woke up @ 8 am and watched the Sprout channel, too much singing if you ask me... So then we decided to go have breakfast, pancakes was the consensus hers with chocolate chips. Then to the bookstore to read books and do some of her homework.. Finally to end the day we went to the movies... While we we're @ the bookstore she asked me why I want to have a baby??? My answer was because I really want a daughter and also because I want another chance @ having that feeling of giving unconditional love and receiving it. Even though I didn't think she really understood my answer, she came back and said "you have me so you can stop trying now!" and she's only 5!!

Also, so remember last month I brought the CBEFM, been wanting to use it since I got it but the rules say you have to wait until the monitor tells you to use it, well this morning it said use me!!! And I was so happy to pee on the stick!! you would've thought it said I won the lottery!!! Still haven't figured it out but I can't wait to do it again tomorrow....


Okay so let's see what my next 2 days of meds do for me....








I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

Emailing...

Okay so today is CD 5 and I called to schedule my monthly monitoring appt and I sent my monthly email to our KD... It's so strange to be telling a guy about when my period started and when I should ovulate! But I do it every month.... So far I haven't had any side effects from the new meds (Femara), Michelle is probably happy about that.... I'm so excited about this months insemination, I've learned so much in the past month that I really believe this month will be better than any other month and I'm very positive and no stress....

Tonight I'm having a sleepover with my 5 yr. old niece!! I'm so excited and glad to be able to spend all day tomorrow doing girlie things with her... Still thinking about what should we do?? What do 5 yr. old girls like to do, besides play in my make up?!?!






I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."

New meds...

So this has been a very busy Saturday!! Got up this morning @ 5am to finish a baking project I started last night and had to deliver before 9... Then went to get 4 new tires!!! YAAAY! so needed them... Had lunch @ P.F. Chang's w/Michelle and her Mother, went and got new wireless headphones from the Apple Store!! Then went to the movies with several friends to see For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf the movie and dinner @ T.G.I Fridays'... now finally home....


With all the things I was doing today I kept thinking about the bottle of pills that are sitting on my bed waiting for me to come home and take them. Today is CD 3 and that means I start taking my Femara. I think I was thinking about it so much for 2 reasons, 1 is that it's a new medicine so now I have to get used to new side effects if any (just got used to the Clomiphene side effects) and 2 that sitting on my bed is 10 little pills that is gonna help us make a baby! I still get excited thinking about the fact that I'm gonna have a baby!! So as soon as we walk in the door we get the pill bottle and say our prayer that we say every month before we start the meds, and I take this little brown pill an as it's going down my throat I'm thinking this pill is gonna work this month!! So for the next 4 days I will take these pills and prepare to inseminate this month...

Oh yeah!! after reading Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility I got several ideas about what I should be doing, one thing was take "Evening Primrose Oil" everyday once your cycle starts and it will help you produce fertile CM, so of course I've been taking this pill every night.... The more things that'll help I'll try...








I will end each blog with this disclaimer "I'm not a Doctor or expert on this subject. Anything I say is just informational and you should always speak with your doctor before doing or trying anything I say medically."