Tested today....

Well this morning I tested!! Even though I know it's early still I
wanted to know and the test was NEGATIVE...

I openly cried in front of Michelle! I can't begin to describe how I'm
feeling right now, I'm so hurt and disappointed in myself because I
also plan things and succeed in them the first time so not succeeding
the first time isn't a good feeling!!! I read all the books, did
everything the book told me I should be doing and it didn't work?!?!

I'm glad I have positive people in my life... My sister has been so
positive and saying just the right thing to turn my doubts away
briefly... During my crying and hurt I never asked Michelle how she's
feeling??? I think people forget about the other person during this
time. People will send condolences and well wishing to the pregnant -to-be
person but not to the partner, why is that???

So now I must decide do I do this again or drop it??? But would I be
being fair to Michelle if I decide to drop it without talking with
her??? She wants to go see a specializes about it, I don't want that,
because than again I will feel like a failure...

We did decide that we would wait until May before we try again...

Live.Laugh.Love

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